yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
