i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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