well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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