I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
