I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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