Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
