My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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