this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
