i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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