i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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