I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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