Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
