There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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