He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize