So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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