just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
