Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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