I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
