i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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