I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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