i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
