He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
