I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
