Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
