Why does Corona taste like a burp?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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