Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
