it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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