It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Bring me that man meat
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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