That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
