I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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