I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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