Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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