As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
