the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
