Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
