just come out here and I will go home with you...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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