I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
