her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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