I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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