I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
