i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
