Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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