I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
