How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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