All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Farmville is her only friend.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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