okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize