you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
In America we eat man semen.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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