Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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