I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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