im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize