he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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