Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
