I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
