Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
