i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
