the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
