she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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