Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
