I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
