a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
