Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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