How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
