Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
