the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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