Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
