sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
