Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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