just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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