So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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