I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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