somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You work out of a Hotel?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
