Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
