My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
